please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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