Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
