i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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