He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
