i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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