Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
