dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What a dumb baby whore.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
