Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
people are starting to question the shark bite story
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
