Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Randomize
