CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
