you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
