Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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