guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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