Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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