Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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