Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
there is glitter all over my balls
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize