So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
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It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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