You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
