I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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