You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
