I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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