i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
