I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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