im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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