Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I cannot find my penis.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
