last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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