How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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