Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
