i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
