your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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