I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's Friday. Sex?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
