Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
