he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this