I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
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His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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