i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
