good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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