Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
