Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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