1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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