Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
