you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize