I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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