After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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