Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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