if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
