And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
