im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
