No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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