oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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