on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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