yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Even my vagina gasped.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
