wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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