so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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