we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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