it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
