btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
