The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
